Breaking Up Is Hard Toooo Do….

October 4, 2007 at 11:12 pm (Rants, School, Sleep, Work)

So I’ve been thinking (a dangerous thing to be sure). And I don’t know what to do. I think I am just too overcommitted right now, and am dangerously close to burning out. And I simply cannot do that at this time, considering I have 2 papers and 2 midterms this coming week. And I’m only 19. So I’m not allowed to be burned out. Yes, I have a vacation coming up soon, but that would be after I need to have everything in, so that really just does not help.

And why am I coming close to burning out, you ask? Well let’s see what is on my plate:

1) 4 classes, amounting to 13 credits, which is admittedly less than my last two semesters, yet is necessary because of…

2)… Macbeth! This fantastic Scottish play takes up approximately 4 hours of my night, 4-5 nights a week.

3) The Writing Center, taking up 2 hours of my time 3 days a week, plus additional on-call hours whenever necessary

4) Grading Logic homework, which takes me anywhere between 4 and 8 hours every week, depending on my knowledge of the material and how many students get something wrong, causing me to waste even more of my time freaking out that I did something wrong, going back, checking my work, only to find out that, in fact, I was right to begin with, and there are simply some really stupid people in this class. Sorry. Not stupid. Never stupid. How about logic-challenged?

5) Homework for those 4 classes mentioned above, taking who-knows-how-long each week, depending on papers and tests and random assignments that professors seem to give with such glee knowing that they are taking precious hours away from my beauty sleep

6) HangPROUD. The current bane of my existence. Why? Because it makes me feel like a failure. Ironic, isn’t it? HP is supposed to help girls and women realize that they are truly wonderful people who have something to contribute to the world, and yet it makes me feel like a failure. But of course, this is all my fault. I made a commitment to them, and now that I can’t seem to follow through with it, instead of doing something about it, I am simply beating myself up and feeling miserable because I can’t write one measly article a week.

So what does this all add up to? Me being stressed. That’s all. Nothing too serious.

I’m currently thinking of quitting HangPROUD, at least for the time being (read: until Macbeth is finished). But I hate the idea of me quitting. I hate it with a passion. Because I like to think of myself as someone who can do anything I set my mind to. And I set my mind to do all of these things this semester, and now that I can’t seem to juggle all of them, I know that I should at least pare down something, but I feel that I simply can’t because I am of course such an integral part of each organization that I am a part of that they would simply fall apart without me!

Who am I kidding?

So.

Maybe.

Just maybe.

I may admit defeat.

For now.

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